Being single definitely has its benefits. I come and go as I please, answer to no one, and pretty much do whatever I want to. The only issue is that when all of the running around is done, I am alone. Always. Most days I'm ok with my living situation, and today is one of them. However, there are days when I would like to have a warm body to lay next to. Someone to have silly conversations with. Someone to make love to. Someone to plan a future with. You get the drift.
Being a member of the LGBT community, I have found it difficult to find men of substance. When I was in my 20s and had first relocated to the Atlanta area, I went through this stage where I would meet guys on the internet or chatlines, go to the clubs a few times, and attempt to form relationships. Without fail, each dude I met wanted to become sexual after a few weeks. Desperate though I was, I never gave in. Once they saw that my drawers were comfortable attached to my waist, the phonecalls, IMs, and e-mails abruptly stopped.
That's part of the problem. Unlike our heterosexual counterparts, it is very rare that we can have encounters in non-gay places. What I am suggesting is that we almost HAVE to go to the clubs in order to meet people. I've seen plenty of hot guys that I would have loved to initiate contact. However, given that I absolutely lack gaydar, I can never determine if the man is gay or not. We all know that guessing incorrectly can have serious consequences. Supposedly, there's this look that people "in the life" give one another. Personally, I think it's bullshit.
So the question is, where are all of the employed, goal-oriented, spiritual, loving, compassionate, committment-focused, monogamous, gay men? In Atlanta, we seem to be a dying breed. What's a man to do? Return to the tired-ass clubs and hang out with the tweens? Spend $3.99/minute to hear bogus messages left by dudes who are looking for hookups? Not at all. I think I'll wait for E-Harmony to create the gay-friendly sight: Compatible Partners.com.
7 comments:
I am with on the E-Harmony tip...(^_^)
I don't know about you, but I long for the opportunity to meet a nice guy without using the internet. I guess I'm too picky.
Well I have had more than 6 lovers in my life, and only one of them did I meet at a club. The rest I met in every day places, grocery store, car wash, a friend's party, the internet, and at the mall.
I wouldn't say I have gaydar, but apparently I set off everyone else's.
I guess I just have to remain patient. I did meet a dude at the Dollar Tree today, but he wasn't my type. I'm glad you've had positive experiences. I'm certain my time will come.
I feel you on this blog. It is a shame that there are few venues where you can meet a good dude. I once met a dude at Outwrite, the gay bookstore not far from Piedmont park, which is another spot.
Seriously, I thought that Atlanta was supposed to be the "black gay mecca".
All of the black gay bloggers from Atlanta I'm familiar with who discuss realationships say how hard it is to find quality men in Atlanta of all places.
If you can't find a quality man in Atlanta, where can you find one?
Anonymous:
You hit the nail on the head. The operative word is "quality." If I wanted a piece of ass on a regular basis, that would not be a problem. I'm seeing a lifetime partnership. Someone who I can marry once it's legal. I'm certain there are good gay dudes out there; they're homebodies like me :)
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