I enjoy having my accomplishments recognized, but I despise being labeled a "brainiac" or an "overachiever." Sure, I have an advanced degree, but many people do (in much more rigorous disciplines, might I add). I consider myself a man who is driven to know EVERYTHING about ANYTHING that interests me. Dr. Benjamin S. Carson, author of Gifted Hands and Think Big, calls excessive inquisitiveness "in-depth learning." For instance, when I studied biochemistry in undergrad -back when I dreamed of becoming a physician- I LOVED studying the structures of amino acids (the building blocks of proteins). I became excited when we were taught that genetic substitution of one amino acid for another can lead to the manifestation of diseases, such as sickle cell anemia. Even though I HATED physics, I applied myself diligently, reading the textbook and even working with a tutor. Yes, there are subjects that even I couldn't master. But that wasn't the goal. The goal was the diligent pursuit of knowledge.
So why am I blogging about this topic? Well, I have a lot of family members who, for whatever reason, have not reached their full potential. Consequently, they make excuses for why they work low-paying jobs or never pursued any vocation after completing high school or earning a GED (high school equivalent). Then they look at me and say "Oh, you're just a part of the 'talented tenth.' Things come easy to you." In the words of Della Reese, "Kiss my entire ass!" I truly resent being characterized as such. By the grace of God and my own sheer will, many of the endeavors I have undertaken have been successful, and it remains to be seen what I'll do next (stay tuned, it could be monumental). Maybe I'm driven because poverty left a rancid taste in my mouth. Maybe it's because I viewed education as a means of geographic liberation. Perhaps my sexuality also played a part, as I wasn't out chasing pussy (or dick for that matter). Now, before some anonymous person accuses me of generalizing, I will acknowledge that MANY PEOPLE WHO CHASE PUSSY OR DICK SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS.
I hate the "savior role" I've inherited. There, I said it. As long as I'm around, people know things will get done the right way. When I set limits or say "no," I'm "mean, selfish, or pompous." Because these words are often uttered by family members, I bite my tongue just a little bit. Ultimately, I believe it is time for people to step their respective games way the fuck up. Go to school! Quit complaiing about how difficult your life was! Stop blaming your parents for the slacker you've become! Take responsibility for the foolish choices you're made! Get off the damn worry wheel! Refrain from accusing foreigners of taking jobs you have not expressed any interest in! Ask for HELP when the load becomes too heavy! Stop GORGING yourself spoonfulls of "I can'ts, "they won't let me's," "I'm too old's" and the notorious "should'a, could'a, would'as." And please, STOP BLAMING THE WHITE MAN!!!! Whew! That was cathartic. I'd probably lose my license if I said half of this stuff to my clients.
Ok, my soapbox has been returned to the closet for today. Gotta get some groceries in this house before I hit the gym. Oh, since today is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, I must get to Decatur and see the AIDS quilt. Thanks for listening.
Y'all know I had to put a little positivity in this blog. Enjoy.
Sounds of Blackness, "Optimistic"
7 comments:
sadly mediocrity will ALWAYS exist because most of us are either to lazy or can't be bothered to care...I told Noel (the husband) just yesterday how so many Americans are living in the land of opportunity yet they don't try...keep on keeping on guy forget the rest...
I plan to. I cannot allow anyone to make me the center of their universe. I may have to travel to destinations alone. I guess I'll continue to wean them off of me slowly and gently.
YOU SURE SOUND PISSED OFF! BUT YOU ARE A 'BRAINIAC'! OK, I'M JUST TEASING YOU!!
(NOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, TALKING ABOUT BEFORE SOME ANONYMOUS PERSON ACCUSES YOU OF GENERALISING? (^_^) HEY?)
AS FAR AS FAMILY IS CONCERNED, IF YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS YOUR ACT TOGETHER, YOU'RE ALWAYS EXPECTED TO GIVE MORE OF YOURSELF, ESPECIALLY MONEY, ACTUALLY, IT'S ALWAYS MONEY. THAT'S FAMILY. NO ONE EVER THINKS THAT YOU ALSO NEED TO BUILD YOUR OWN LIFE.
BUT I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING ABOUT SOME PEOPLE LIKING TO MAKE EXCUSES. I HAVE SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY JUST LIKE THAT. WHEN MY MOTHER WAS SCRAPPING ABOUT (AND I MEAN SCRAPPING)TRYING TO EDUCATE US, HE NEVER WANTED TO GO TO SCHOOL. AND NOW HIS JEALOUSY IS AS THICK AS FOG.
I LOOK AROUND AND SEE MANY BLACK CHILDREN LOITERING AROUND DURING SCHOOL HOURS AND SKIPPING SCHOOL WHILE WHITE KIDS GET ON WITH THEIR EDUCATION. LIFE, FOR THEM, IS ABOUT DRINKING & DRUGS & ENDLESS FUN.ULTIMATELY MANY END UP GIVING UP ON SCHOOL TO BECOME NOBODY'S. AND LATER THEY BLAME THE GOVERNMENT FOR NOT TAKING CARE OF THEM, THEY BLAME 'THE SYSTEM', THEY BLAME 'FOREIGNERS' (I HATE THAT WORD). ANYONE, BUT THEMSELVES.
I feel you on this. Being that "saviour" as you put it, and being determined and hardworking to achieve you full potential does tend to leave many people in the dust. Its more than you think. Your family made mention of the 1/10th thing, that's not far from accurate! There are too many people that settle for mediocrity and make excuses for their slothful state of nonadvancement! All you can do is continue to be that "saviour". Continue to be hardworking! That is you, or so it seems (First time reader of yours). Things tend to balence themselves out. But make your position known! Dont be taken advantage of! there is a thing called balance, things shouldn't fall solely on a select few, but the many!
"I may have to travel to destinations alone. I guess I'll continue to wean them off of me slowly and gently."
In order to get to those destinations you speak of, you may have to "wean" them off you NOT so slowly and Not so gently.
Shallotte:
I was a little pissed off when I wrote this entry. I have been acting as the family "savior" for over half of my life. Like I said, they're gotten accustomed to me taking care of critical matters. It's definitely a labor of love, but I won't be doing this for the rest of my life.
Fuzzy:
Welcome to my blog! I still don't buy that talented 10th shit. If a person inputs MAXIMUM effort, the output will likely exceed her/his expectations. I wish people would fail TRYING. I hate being held up as the standard. I AM NOT. Anything I've done (or will do) can be duplicated or exceeded. I have been more assertive lately. Also, I agree that the load should be shared by many. Thanks for the insight.
Anonymous:
I get your point. Thanks.
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